Done

I am done in so many ways right now.

Nate and I showed up right on time yesterday morning. I was taken back to the pre op area in ample time. The anestesia doc came back and verified everything with me. They even gave me decadron and something else before the surgery so I won't wake up nauseous. (Not that nausea or vomiting ever been a problem with me in the past, they do it standard for everyone) Dr. B came in and spoke to me. He seemed to be in a particularly good mood. And I was taken back for surgery. It was flawless. It seemed like the whole place revolved specifically around me.

In the past, the 5 or so times that I have woken up from anestesia it always felt like I was coming out of a dream. Easy and most importantly pain free. No problems. Not this time. My eyes opened to the feeling of someone standing overtop of me stabbing me in the gut, Tears were coming out of my eyes and I was flailing me head, but I couldn't speak because me mouth was so dry and my throat hurt from being intubated. I like to think that I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, where did that go? The nurse came right over and asked me if I was in pain. All I could do was shake my head "yes." She explained that she had already given me toridol thru my i.v. (that's like and i.v. version of motrin) I didn't even feel it. So she stated with 50mg of phentenil. That just took the slightest edge off. So a few minutes layer she gave me another 50. That's a lot of pain medicine. That only worked fr about 20 minutes or so, so she got Dr. B's okay to give me a percocet. After about an hour in the first stage of recovery they moved me to the second where Nate could see me. I felt like such a wimp. I was crying and complaining about how much it hurt.

Dr. B came in while I was still in the first stage of the PACU and all I really remember him saying, besides that I did have endometrial tissues that he had to remove on my left side, is that this was it. I won't/can't have this done again. He more specifically said that I would lose my uterus.

In the second stage of recovery I still felt pretty miserable. The nurse came back in and asked me how my pain was because I could start thinking about going home. I was terrified to think of the hour long car ride so she gave me another percocet.

The drive home was long, and I had a hard time getting up the steps, but I have been up here ever since.

Nate insisted in the hospital and on the ride home that he REALLY didn't think it was a good idea for Ty to see me and I should just have my Mom to meet Randy before we got home. But I couldn't stand the thought. I really don't think he understands how good Ty's hugs feel to me. Also, Nate has still not seen the true Ty. There is always a little competition for affection when I am around both of them and Ty's way of fighting is by clinging onto me, so Nate was worried that Ty would unintentionally hurt me. But I told me Mom to explain to Ty that he could only touch my face and hands and I thought that would be fine.

As it turns out, it was. And Ty was wonderful. He came up onto the side of the bed that I wasn't laying on and he put his little hand on my cheek and he asked me if I was okay. And I told him that I was a little uncomfortable (Huge Understatement) but he didn't need to hear my burdens. Then he asked me if it was okay if he game me a hug, and he did. He asked me a lot of questions and I showed him my "band aids." He was so concerned and before my Mom took him he started crying a little and whining that he wanted to stay with me so he could help me. I reassured his that while I would love his help he could go have a ton of fun with his Daddy instead of laying in bed with me. So, they left.

I have to say that by the end of the day yesterday on top of all the i.v. drugs I took 7 percocet, That is so not like me. And I was still in pain. When I had a 9lb 3oz child vaginally....I took tylenol...and I had an episiotomy.

So now Nate works the next 6 days in a row for 12 hours each day...so he needs to sleep during the day and he will be gone all night. He called his Mom and asked he to come up and spend the weekend with me. Normally I wouldn't need this, in fact...before the surgery I was looking forward to having the weekend by myself because I knew I could just relax and only feel a little crummy. But now I am thinking I don't know what I would do without her. I am so happy she is available to come up.

Just to give you an idea here...I am sitting up right now typing, only moving my fingers. I have 2 pillows under my knees and two behind my head, and a heating pad on my abdomen. If I lay down it hurts, like not hurts a little, but hurts that just can't do it. When I need to get up I can't lift my own legs because it's too painful using my abdominal muscles. So someone needs to remove the pillows for me and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I also need help scooting to the edge of the bed, but when I sit up all the way I need to keep leaning forward because I can't sit straight up. So I can't be bugging Nate to wake up and help me everytime I need to go to the bathroom, or need something to drink or eat. I can't take the percs on an empty stomach.

Dr. B used a different technique this time then he did in the past and I am convinced that the way he did it this time really limited the amount of CO2 gas that he used in my abdominal cavity to escape and that's what is causing all this pain. I mean, I can feel where my stitches hurt and all, but it's the gas that is making this so difficult.

For the record too, if you are wondering my my Mother In Law is coming instead of my own Mother staying...well, my Mom offered to stay another day, but she already put off leaving for a trip in her RV with my Step Dad to help me with Ty and I didn't want to delay her any more. I think she would have stayed as long as I asked her too...but I am sure she would be miserable, and my MIL doesn't have any plans besides studying, which she could do up here just as easily in VA. Plus I know she would love to see Nate.

Okay, so I woke up about 50 min ago, went to the bathroom and took 2 percs and had a pop tart and I am really starting to feel the effects of them, so I am going to stop typing now because this is really becoming an effort.