I don't like my job...

I am not stupid. I know that people talk about me when I am not working because somehow every time we coworkers gather in the ambulance bay we somehow migrate to a conversation about someone that we work with that isn't present during the conversation. But boy were my feelings hurt last night.

I worked with a guy that I love to work with last night. Clinically he brings out the best in me. I feel very confident around him because I know he isn't judging my techniques and what not. And I trust him. We talk on a personal level and I don't do that with a whole lot of people. And he has told me in the past that he has confided in me like no one else. Writing this makes it kind of sound like I might have something for this guy...but trust me when I say, even if I wasn't married to Nate I couldn't date him. He is a good friend and that's it.

Anyway, so we were sitting in the lounge last night and he says to me "You know Stacey, I have got to congratulate you on making it to your one year anniversary." And I just looked at him with this confused look on my face and I was like " what do you mean "making it?" to my first year. Were there doubts?" And he hesitated and started the next part of our conversation with "I swear you can't tell anybody I said this...but, there was a bet going on." My eyebrows raise..."Oh really?" I say. Then I continue, "I don't recall it being any one's business how long my relationships last?" Then he insists that it was no big deal. No big deal? So I ask, since this isn't a big deal, how many of my coworkers were involved in this little bet. "everyone." I was told. And not everyone as in, everyone from my station...it was EVERYONE as in everyone from BOTH stations. Okay, now my feelings are hurt. But whatever. Then I made the mistake of asking what the guesses were. I think he thought he was making me feel better when he explained that it ended a while ago because the longest guess was 3 months. But apparently I threw them through a loop when I got engaged. They were initially guessing how long we would be dating. I suppose they had to restructure their ways when I was getting married.

I don't know why this bothers me so much...but it does. Whatever.

In other news... our anniversary night was a lot of fun. We ordered in...and my eyes were WAY bigger then my stomach because I had enough food to eat dinner, have a bit of a snack later and then I didn't need to buy any food while I was working yesterday..so I had enough for lunch AND dinner too! Yeah, it was that bad!

Nate and I keep talking a lot about moving again. We seem to go in spurts. It looks like maybe we will be moving in about a year...and then it will be to like Florida or some place close to the water. That way we can get the custody schedule figured out before we move internationally and it won't be such a big deal. I can't wait to get out of here. I swear if Nate didn't like his job so much we would be packing right now. He got his schedule for May and he works almost every day. They are already asking him to pick up the 2 last days he has off in April...but it's the night before and the night of Ty's surgery. He was initially scheduled for those days, but then switched them (THANK GOD!) so he could be with us. I really didn't want to do that alone for that.

I am curious if Randy comes. He said he would come to the pre op appointment, but he didn't bother to do that. He and I had a bad week. It's been pretty bad with him since he has been served. I kind of expected that though. This woman he is supposed to be marrying seems weird. He told me that she is 32 and she really wants kids. I asked him when he told me that if they were going to have any and he said "yes." But he had recently told me that he wasn't having any more children. SO when I questioned him on that he just replied that she wants them, so whatever. Oh that's a great basis for having a child with someone. Does she completely disregard what he wants? Is she really that selfish? Can't she SEE the outcome of the last one he didn't want? Hello?

So I figure one of two things will happen. One...hey have a baby and he reverts back his old habits and she gets fed up with it (like I did) and she is educated and self sufficient, so I don't see her feeling trapped like she can't leave if she was that unhappy. Or two...Randy gets flooded with guilt that he wasn't there for his first sons first years so he tries to make up for it with this one and then Ty gets hurt since Daddy isn't paying much attention to him. I figure either outcome is good for me and Ty. He has a solid base here and we aren't going anywhere (emotionally) Plus my atty said that 9 times out of 10...no matter how involved a man is with his kids before he gets remarries...once he gets remarried and starts his own family with his new wife, the children of his first relationship are forgotten about. I can only hope.