Discovery...

I am very please to discover that I FINALLY found a was to tolerate Ty's father. Randy had to come to my house this morning after he took Ty to school because Ty is on medication and that has to be transferred from house to house and I still can't drive because of the medication that I am on. So for over an hour he sat here with me and we talked an actually had a decent conversation. After he left I realized that we accomplished a set holiday schedule for who gets Ty when and at what times of the day etc etc...

It was nice. I had an hour long conversation...face to face...no argument, no issue, no fuss. And then I remembered that I am on oxycodone. Hmmmm. Coincidence? I don't think so. So now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I have to be heavily medicated to carry an adult conversation with my ex, or the fact that I can't remain on the drug forever to ensure we can always communicate like that.

Interesting. Now I just need to decide if that's a reflection on him or me.

Not well today.

So today I am not doing so well. I have been dizzy pretty much all day, lightheaded, and nauseous. Nate seems to think that some of the medication is accumulating in my system, so he thinks I should not take benegryl with my pain medication. The only problem with that then is I will break out in hives. I haven't decided to lesser of the 2 evils. But I know right now I can't stand for more then about 30 seconds or I feel like I am going to fall over.

I am also very disappointed to find today that when I stood on the scale in the bathroom I weighed over 2 pounds heavier then before the surgery. Everything that I have put in my body has been healthy, and I know I am not eating too much. Ive been drinking a lot of water, but I know I have been voiding out what I have been putting in. I know weight change doesn't happen overnight, but I though for practically not eating for almost 4 days would have attributed to some fluid weight loss. I am going to try to not get discouraged though. I knew this was going to be hard.

I miss Ty today. I miss his help too. The cute little "are you okay mommy?" questions that come from his mouth are absent today. I like knowing that he is here. I love knowing that when he is here he knows how to call for help if we needed it. I have been working on that a lot lately too.

I picked up my cross stitch that I started in February. I swear I am never going to get the thing done, but I am motivaed again. I think for my next project I will submit a photo and have it put into pattern to cross stich...now to just find the right picture for it.

When I was going through all the pictures to put them in the album I came across the PERFECT gift for Randy for christmas. Every year we get each other something "from Ty." I think it's something that is nice and we should be doing for/with Ty. Well I fouund a picture of Lilly (our dag that Randy got custody of) with Ty as an infant posing on top of her and Ty has the bigest smile on his face. So I figured I will go out, get a nice matte for it and a (cheap) nice picture frame. And Voila! I think it's a great idea, and it won't cost a lot of money either.

Okay, that's it for now...I am sleeeeepy.

Vow to blog more...

Today was an okay day. I feel rather productive because I managed to complete the task that I have given myself to do that I figured would take my entire recovery time, but it did not. I had hundreds of printed pictures of Ty that I had from before I owned a digital camera and they were all loose in a box. Well, not anymore. They are (in my best guess) in chronological order, nothing fancy...I am not patient enough to scrapbook...nor do I have the extra money right now to invest in all those scrapping supplies. So now I have been contemplating going into all the monthly folders that I have of Ty from the moment I bought a digital camera. Yes, I have a folder for each MONTH of each year that Ty has been with me since he was about 20 months old...and I'll tell you, it's a lot of pictures. But I think I decided to save that project for a time when Ty is with Randy for an extended period of time...like say, summers. And I am also waiting for the price of the picture books to come down. I want to do one of those hard covered, your pictures are really the pages, kind of books...and since they started to become popular and more and more companies can do them the price keeps going down. Part of me wants to do one for every year Ty is in school, but I don't know if I will be able to keep up with something like that, you know?

In other news, I am feeling rather terrific given the circumstances. I really couldn't imagine this being too much better then it is with the surgery. That makes me very happy since Ty was just diagnosed AGAIN today with strep. He has an appointment with an ENT on December the 3rd and it looks like his ton sills will be removed over his winter holiday break. Poor guy. Would it be mean if I confessed that I am kind of glad that this isn't 'my' year to have Ty for Christmas if he is going to be going through this. I am happy about it because I will end up with him more then I would have before this had to happen because of the circumstances.

I have decided to cook more after I get better. I have spent a lot of time on the Internet looking up healthy easy recipes and I am sick and tired of eating the same crap. It's just that I hate this house with the kitchen. I have literally 12 inches of counter space and that makes making any kind of decent meal really hard to make just due to lack of space. But I decided on a lifestyle change that took effect the day of my surgery because I want to be healthier and that won't come out of nuking lean cuisines every day. And I know that Nate and Ty will benefit too. So, I consider it a win-win situation.

The downside to that is while I am accumulating a nice stack of recipes, I am also accumulating a nice list of groceries. I am glad I am doing it now though because we have a 10% off coupon for Giant for their thanksgiving promo. So, that 10% will really be put to great use.

I would really like to start blogging on a more regular basis...I think it will keep me motivated to discuss my cooking trials and errors...I am sure there will be much more of the errors. I was not blessed by the betty crocker fairy like my sister.

Post Surgery

I really can't complain about how I felt immediately after surgery. I felt much better then I expected...but then after I tried to go to sleep tonight, even with a humidifier in practically in my face I can't sleep. I just can't. My nose feels constricted with the swelling in the back of my mouth and breathing thru my mouth dries it and and it hurts t swallow so when my saliva accumulates in my mouth and I go to swallow in subconsciously I start to cough:: insert IMMENSE pain here: : So here I am, 2am and wide awake. Nate gave me benadryl...We should see if that will help.

I had to get some benedryl at the surgical center today because I was having a reaction to the pain meds that they gave me, and ironically enough it's the same pain meds that I got a prescription for. Lucky me. But I broke out in hives there, but don't seem to be having a problem with that now. Hmmmm.

Ty, well...he's another story. He has been the BIGGEST mother hen. If he ever becomes a big brother, I think he would do an excellent job. Anything I wanted he got. Even when I didn't say I wanted or needed anything he was asking me if he could get or do something for me.

My mother was astounded by how much he insisted on doing himself. I would ask her something and Ty would be like "No NO NO! I'll get it (or do it) for MY Mommy!" He would put his hand gently on my face and rub it and be like "you okay, Mommy?" So sweet.

I know it could be worse, but right now...I just want to get some sleep.

okay, so it's been over a month...

there is actually quite a lot going on right now so I'll do the best I can.

#1 Wednsday I am going under anestesia for the THIRD time this year. I would love to say that now that my boobs are done and my lipo scars have healed that I am going in for a brazilian butt lift...but sadly no. None of that is true. After girley surgery for endomotriosis and a loverly colonoscopy I am having my tonsils removed. Fun fun fun. In a very small way I am looking forward to it becaue I am using that as my ''start date" for changing my eating...hopefully forever. I have been up and down on dieting and I am ready to stop and just try to be healthy. More on that to come.

#2 So the default was granted...quickly followed by a motion to vacate the default from the other side that waited almost 2 months to be granted as well...so, after filing in january and here is is NOVEMBER we are STILL at step one. I am pissed, to say the least. If we keep this up Ty will be 18 before we get a court date.

#3 Nate has had SEVERAL calls and a few phone interviews for jobs in florida. I can't make any judgements onw, but I can say that it's looking excellent.

#4 We have been sick sick sick this fall, well, at least Ty and I have been. Strep has been horrible this year, and it Ty's not careful he will be following in my footsteps with a tonsilectomy soon.

#5 I have developed a new passion. And it's LOST. I LOVE that show. Wow, I have never become more engrossed in a ficticious show. It's awesome, to say the least. I started out on season one (obviously) and now I just started season 3. I will probably watch everything that has come out from that point to the end by the time I recover from surgery.

#6 Photography is still going well. It has died down a bit and I suspect that's from the economy, but I am still happy with the few bucks I am making from it.

Today was voting day for the kids at Ty's school and instead of greeting me off the bus with a big HI MOMMY! I got an "I VOTED IN SCHOOL TODAY!"

In which Ty explained that he voted for BoBomma. When I asked him why he voted for him and not "the other guy." he said he liked the way Bobamma looked, he has a nice face. Funny boy.

the coolest underware ever!

So Ty was getting ready for bed after his shower tonight and in a moment of brilliance he decided to explain that he had the coolest underware ever becase it has "this flap in the front and I can pee out of it whenever I want!"

I swear that kid cracks me up sometimes!

Thursday we have a mediation session with our attorneys. We filed for default and it was granted, so that lit a fire under their rear ends...so hopefully we can at least get a trial date because I know we are not coming to an agreement in mediation any time soon.

worried

I have been constantly worried for the past few days. I am worried about my job (you know, working 3 jobs and STILL someone manage to have NO money) I am worried about Ty starting school. I am worried about canceling Ty's before and after school care since I can't seem to find a full time day job that would be worth spending a $108 a week charge for the care. I am worried about all of the money that we have been spending. I have been worried so much it's affecting my sleep and I have a wicked case of acid reflux. I hate acid reflux. And to top it all off I found out today that my husbands reason for spending so much time on the treadmill is because he decided that he needs to lose weight to qualify for a position on a flight team. This petrifies me. Scares me to death. Yet, another thing to worry about.